I don't know exactly how old our trumpet player is today, but he'll always be 14 in my mind.
Things I know about Evan:
1. When he was a very very small boy, he would speak a funny gibberish while making weird gestures with his hand as if doing alien sign language. It was embarrassing to gramma.
2. I've been in a hot tub with him on a number of occasions. He's perfectly safe.
3. He was, in fact, not born with a mustache. It actually didn't emerge for several years.
What do YOU know about Evan?
-David
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14 comments:
I currently share a dressing room with Evan, so I know a lot! And he still manages to be pretty lovable.
I miss his funny, big black glasses :)
Happy Birthday Evan!
4. Evan finds the word effluvia pretty hilarious. (Try it: "Effluuuvia!")
Happy Birthday, Evan, and Happy Fortnight, Evan's Mustache!
Evan likes to show off his nibbly bits.
Example of nibbly bits.
Evan is the only member of "Awesome" to have his own element in the periodic table.
Evan can feel your emotions via his moustache.
Or so I'm told.
Evan and the mustache live in a mutually beneficial symbiotic relationship whereby the mustache pilfers food during Evan's feeding time and in turn the mustache increases Evan's reproductive fitness.
Evan was born in a moving van.
Evan sings himself to sleep every Monday night. When he has laryngitis, he mouths the words.
Evan's secret recipe in his veggie chili is one underarm hair.
Evan had a short-lived reoccurring roll on 'Small Wonder.'
Evan has set free every bird he has ever owned.
Evan once broke the course record at Augusta National, but did not sign his scorecard, so it did not count.
Evan owns stock in 3 major oil companies.
Evan used to be over 6 feet tall but was asked to 'shorten up' so as not to overshadow the rest of the band's front four.
Evan is voting for Huckabee.
Evan has a laugh like a machine gun...a friendly machine gun who wants to spoon you and would most likely be on ABC Saturday mornings at 8:30; between "Shazam" and "Josie and the Pussycats in Outer Space".
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, UNDERCOVER JAMES TAYLOR.
xo
J.
The Evan is not a person The Evan is Pure Light and Energy sent from the future to trumpet the coming of the end of the world. So Happy Birthday and WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
Also, Evan's mustache has contributed the legal maximum (for mustaches) to the Ron Paul campaign. True story.
Evan is immortal
He has inside him blood of kings
He has no rival
No man can be his equal
Take him to the future of you all
In the end, there can be only one mustache.
Evan spelled backwards is "nave", ironic given his royal lineage.
Evan is very shy about his fabulous wealth, hence the added "i" in "Evian".
Evan always washes his hands after using the bathroom, even if he just went in to look for something he thought he left there.
Evan CAN eat only one chip out of the bag.
Evan knows things about you. Never mind how, he just knows.
Evan is best friends with the Emir of Qatar, but he doesn't brag about it.
Evan's mustache is a protected natural wildlife habit; three previously unrecorded species of pin-tail ducks were discovered there just last week.
As another dressing room sharer, I can vouch that:
He has a fancy middle name
His incredibly dirtiness has no detrimental effect on his cuteness
He is a manchild of a thousand voices
He makes a supersexy polar bear
Once downloaded a duraflame log at TOJ
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