Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Where, exactly, IS hell?

Bored and tired, I find myself at googlemaps. Instead of typing in a specific address, I wanted to see if it knew where certain landmarks were: The White House? Yep, it knows. Grand Canyon? Yep, it knows. Then I typed in "Hell". It turns out that Hell is in the Pinckney State Recreation Area in Putnam Michigan. Whoa.

Heaven? Loveland Ohio, just outside of Cincinnati. (But if you're looking for God, he's in Hungary.)

Lucifer is hanging out south of Crater Lake National Park in Oregon. But Beelzebub (in case you thought they were the same) is in northwestern New Mexico. And the Lord of the Flies is just outside of Atlanta.

Nirvana is in Cherry Valley Michigan (not far from Hell, actually.) But Buddha is in Lawrence County Indiana.

Looking for Death? His current address is "The Parsonage Carlecotes, Dunford Bridge, Sheffield, South Yorkshire S36, UK" (about 50 mi. from Liverpool.)

Looking for "The One"? He/she is in Japan.

My Place of Birth turned out to be the Southern Nevada Women's Correctional Facility. (Um, Mom? Something you wanna tell me?)

The Next Sex Scandal will take place at "Custodian of Records" in Canoga Park, CA. (Other places popped up too, but that was the first one.)

When I typed in "where the rapture starts", it came up with a bunch of different locations, all in Los Angeles.

Looking for The Answers? Try Toronto.

The Truth is in Gulf Shores Alabama.

If you're wondering where my problems are, they're in 9 different locations all in western Europe. My solutions? Greenly, Colorado.

Nobody is between Macon and Savannah, Georgia.

Absolutely Nothing is at 220 N. Meridian Street in Indianapolis, IN.


Okay, back to work.
-David

3 comments:

It's nice to know how to get there said...

Apparently both your lost innocence and childlike wonder are in L.A.

Hubris is in Baton Rouge.

Blind ambition is in Little Rock, AR

BenRifkah said...

This is fun. Lets see...

Awesome is spread across the country and concentrated in OklaTexas, nowhere near the Pacific Northwest. I'm pretty impressed that they were able to get spread out so quickly. Since they just left the KEXP Studios.

Hunter said...

Sincerity is alive and well in Uninc Wetzel County, WV, while irony exists along the eastern seaboard from Mass to FL, in AZ and NV, and right here in Seattle.

Agony is mostly coastal, while ecstasy is mostly inland.

Aside from a single outlier in LA, it would seem that google maps is pretty convinced that the zombie uprising will begin in the Great Lakes region or nearby.

The end of the world, however, is about 20 miles west of Lake Tahoe.

Faith, which we all believe in, is a city in South Dakota