Friday, November 30, 2007

Glob Is Blog Spelled Backwards

Okay yeah, so I'm posting a lot this week. I feel like my mother, rediscovering the internet thanks to Rob Witmer, in exchange for a hot meal and some fresh laundry. Long story. Suffice it to say this whole blog thing is still fresh and new to me, and I don't know what to do with it. Should I:

Reminisce about all the amazingly mediocre meals I had, served with casual annoyance, at Bimbo's Band Member Kitchen? Or reflect upon that one time I actually went into Kingcora (sp?) to meet a friend, only to realize some time later that we were meeting at Bill's, thereby officially keeping my streak of not purchasing a drink from that bar intact? Oh, the halcyon days of East Pine! I did have a nice time at Pony once.

Pick a frustration that concerns me and very few others and complain at length about it? Why does the water cooler take so long to fill my Nalgene bottle? Or is there a state law that requires all garbage trucks to visit dumpsters before 8am? Oh, the halcyon days of earlier this week! I did have a nice time cleaning the rehearsal space last night.

Make a blog post about nothing at all, criticizing blogs and my inability to think about something creative to write? Oh, here's a funny list of things I could write about in this blog! Oh, the halcyon seconds of minutes ago! Oh no, I'm so self-referential that I'm writing myself out of existen

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Pandaparts and the Slow Blog: A Survey

So I'm at work, which has instant quick internet, and our site is really slow to open. All the time. It seems that Blogger needs a moment to cache the YouTube video of our lady panda, then it loads the content.

Is this happening to anyone else? If so, do you give up or wait it out? Are you no longer a fan of this band, or music in general, because of this?

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

A Dream of Tens

This morning I dreamed that the old ConWorks space had been converted into a casino for a party. I was playing an old-fashioned 10-cent slot machine above the main gallery, where I was waiting for some sort of surrealistic floor show to start. Suddenly the machine landed on three tens (it was numbers instead of lemons and cherries and such) and I realized I'd just won $100,000. I felt vaguely guilty. One of the organizers (an old friend who didn't seem to recognize me) came over and started handing me a bunch of 45s from an old jukebox, each one representing $10, $100, or $1000. As I counted the records and decided which I'd keep and which I'd cash in, I had a fleeting thought about taxes and which debts I'd pay first. Just then the floor show started, but at that point the dream sort of turned into an audience-participation sexual-performance-art caper, so I won't bore you with that.

I will mention that last night while we were working on mixing the Secret Song, David pointed out the clearly visible Panda Bear Ladypart in the video below.


Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Those bears on TV have toilet paper

This panda needs some Kleenex, apparently.
(You'll want your sound on for this one, trust me.)

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!  Again! again! again! Play it again...


(And then I got fired from my job.)

Monday, November 26, 2007

Faces and Places

She said that she was going to meet me here, at about 6. It's now 7:30 and the cafe just closed with a hearty chain rattle. This place collapses upon itself with depression until it can fit in my palm. I close my hand around it, get up from the outdoor patio furniture and step outside. It's cold, and getting colder. She's not coming. I'll wait until 8, just to make sure.

Thursday, November 22, 2007


Here's what I did: I went to my aunt kelly's in Mt. Vernon. I ate turkey and potatoes and yams with fake sour cream and also ate a vegan pumpkin cheesecake. Then everyone worked on a jigsaw puzzle. Then we went home and watched more Six Feet Under. (We just started season 3) Also, my grandmother gave me some money for helping her make a website to show her art, and with the money, I'm going to buy THIS.

What did other people do for Turkey Day? Put it in the comments!


Eat something, Jenny

Happy celebrate turkey thank you

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

When Wednesday is Friday is Waffleday.

This is our beloved Waffleman. He's sometimes known as Hugh J'Ardon, and he plays ukulele and hollers as one of Miss Mamie Lavona's White Boy Band. I have heard it told that he once distilled a gallon of moonshine using only his own body. He's as gregarious as he is formidable; a positive force in our fair city.

Tonight he's celebrating his birthday with a musical hootenanny at CHAC Lower Level. Rob and I will be joining his cover band Superfluous for a song or two around 10pm, and then Miss Mamie and her cohorts will vibrate the air in the room with their sexotic sounds all the way until Thanksgiving. It's free, it's festive, and it may as well be Friday.


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Monday, November 19, 2007

We'd Like To Thank You Herbert Hoover

So there I am. It's a rainy monday night and I'm vacuuming the halls and stairs of my apartment building. (I've got a deal worked out with the landlord to do a little work around the building to get a reduction in rent.) I've had a stuffed up nose since June. I'd go to the doctor if I had insurance. But last night as I slept the nose was amazingly clear. Today it's running like crazy. I mean, like I can't blow it enough. I keep blowing and blowing and still there's more snot. Finally I'm just letting it drip out of me. I'm hunched over as I vacuum so I don't get any on my clothes. Because there's a lot of stairs in the building I'm frequently switching from regular vacuuming to using the hose and attachments. It's a fancy Hoover vacuum cleaner with a little green light that comes on to tell you that the carpet is clean. So I've got the hose out, vacuum still on, and another drip falls from my nose and happens to go right into the hose. I can feel another drip coming so this time I aim for the hose to suck it right up. Then I get an idea. I look around to make sure no one is watching. Then I blow my nose hard right into the hose. When I lift my head up my nose is amazingly clear. And unlike when you blow your nose into tissue and it tickles your nose and just makes more snot come, this is very clean, no tickling. I can't remember when I've felt so fresh. So I keep vacuuming, and every couple of minutes or so I give myself another nose job. Or nose-suck job. A "nuck job" you might call it. And each time I do I look furtively around as if I was doing coke or something. And I'm holding one nostral and blowing and then the other. And for a few minutes afterwards I've got the most beautifully clear sinus passages I've ever had. Nuck jobs are awesome. Anyone else tried this?


P.S. Does anyone know what musical the subject line comes from? Hint: I was in this musical in 8th grade.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Vi-o-lin, Lin, Lin

Fretless mind-zither!

Some call it organ rock

The secret song utilizes accordi-organ sounds, care of Robertson.

Pop Vocal Group

The Milliondollar Quartet! Available for elderly birthday parties and school lunches.


Dubtrain Pete has excellent microphone lore.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Hi, Mom

Bloggy blog blog sing blog!

From the comfort of Evan's phone

Literally live-blogging mid-take. Technology!

Live Blogging From The Recording Studio

Here we are at the recording studio. We're recording a song. A secret song. A cover song. We were sort of commissioned to record it by The Stranger. Sort of. We're gonna play it this New Year's Eve. It's a 9 minute song.

Okay, I'm in the big blue easy chair. Rob's on the couch. Kirk is on the leather chair. John A's noodling around on the mandolin. Evan's doing his laundry. John O and Pete and Basil are in the studio proper messing with the bass. The bass is an instrument with 4 strings.

Evan just bought a chair from Ikea. Oh, now John A's got the banjo-mandolin.

Evan is now on Pete's computer looking up a bulk box of pop-tarts that he can buy on Amazon. Pop tarts make me ill. But that doesn't stop me from eating them. One time I bought a bulk box of 25 boxes of Annie's Macaroni & Cheese. That stuff is top notch. Right now I'm not eating dairy or cheese though, to see if maybe that has something to do with the stuffed up nose I've had since June. I really like cheese. And that's saying something, because I don't really like food.

Ooh, ladies just showed up!

Friday, November 16, 2007

the venereal game

No, it's not a disease:

The Venereal Game


A group of unicorns is called a blessing.
A group of kangaroos is called a mob.
A group of whales is called a pod.
A group of bears is called a sleuth.
A group of bassoonists is called a blast.
A group of musicians is called a band.

Thursday, November 15, 2007


I've been doing this poetry challenge where I have to write a poem (no matter how crappy) every day. Here's one from about 6 years ago:

A mother's exasperation
took the shape of my unplanned smile
as I passed and heard her child say,
"I'll be in the cookie aisle."


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

I'm sorry I'm late, I had to attend the reading of a will

There's more where that came from.

Thanks, Luke. I stole your idea.

Anthem: Required Reading

Sooner or later we'll see the clear path ahead and fully embrace edutainment. We've heard that the ABCs at the end of Anthem are useful for youngsters who need more speed in their alphabetic practice. Once recorded, Magic Mouth of Geometric Penta[septa]agrams could help point new counters towards "nine". But do we have anything learnful to say to those with an already firm grasp on numbers and letters? A music professor in Illinois seems to think so.

Last Wensdy I bragged that we were going to get some air time on KUNI, my old college public radio station. KUNI has a huge broadcast area, actually - almost all of eastern Iowa and a thin band of Illinois along the Mississippi, which includes Augustana College in Rock Island. A gentleman who professorizes music there sent us a kind email which concludes:

Incidentally, I am a professor of music at Augustana college in Rock Island Illinois and I thought you might like to know that I'll be teaching "Anthem" in my classes next term (with your permission of course). It is one of the most well-crafted songs I've heard in years. Just thought you should know...

If email was delivered on a truck, this is the route it would have taken:

View Larger Map

Just another example of how the internette renders the big old world in a more manageable scale.


Tuesday, November 13, 2007

RSS and You

By the way, you may have noticed that our new and improved website is built in a blog format for easier commenting (on your part) and organization/archiving (on ours).

However, DID YOU KNOW...

You can also subscribe to an RSS feed of this site? Well, you can, it's easy.

Simply scroll down to the bottom of this page and you'll see this:

Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

Click on the "Atom" part and the RSS feed address for this site will magically appear.
Well, magically in the sense that it's the internet and everything on the internet is magical and mysterious and really not to be trusted like Harry Potter or Ron Paul so why are you still reading this? Obviously you, like Kirk, hate blogs the internet Ron Paul everything.

Still in the dark about RSS? Don't be ashamed. Click here!

Because "Awesome" CaresTM

Meet the new bass player!

Well, for temporary purposes, anyway...

The next time you see us play live, you'll likely see this man on bass:

It's our good pal and Beehive Sessions engineer Pete Remine. He'll be holding down the back line with Kirk while Basil takes the month off to be a dad. (If you're not sure how that works, ask your parents, mayor or religious leader)

Pete and Rob are both in the steel drum supergroup, The Toucans, and Pete's studio is the site of many past (and hopefully many future) "Awesome" recording adventures.

Be sure to give him all sorts of love, though it won't be hard. He's a hard guy to hate. And trust us, we've tried.

Thanks Pete!

Kunjabunjas now uploaded

All the kunjabunjas from last Friday's Kunjabunja Art Party are now uploaded and available for listening. Go HERE and search by Date. Enter November 9, 2007. Enjoy!

Or rather, "Enjoy!"


Monday, November 12, 2007

the best worst game ever

I had a lesson with one of my mandolin students today. She likes to learn Irish fiddle tunes by ear. The process involves me playing the first few notes of the tune over and over until she gets it. Then we add a couple more notes, and a couple more, so that the phrases she's trying to repeat get longer and longer, until she's got the whole tune. Which made realize that what we were doing was playing a real-life version of one my favorite early childhood games that makes the most annoying sounds, Simon. (I only was able to get to 11 playing it just now.)

Anyone else have any favorite childhood games with completely irritating sounds?


I'm About To Blow Your Area

This last Friday we had yet another Kunjabunja Art Party. Rob was nice enough to let us use his house for it, even though he was out of town. We managed to not burn down his house hardly at all. The music kunjabunjas were recorded downstairs. The literary/word-art ones and the painting/drawing/visual art ones were done upstairs in the main room. Due to the fantastically wired sound system, the people upstairs could listen to old kunjabunjas on shuffle while the people downstairs made new ones. Rob texted in a title: Three Jolly Benches, which turned out to be pretty funny. I think my favorite kunjabunja title of the night was "I'm About To Blow Your Area", which featured Basil doing a quasi-rap/speak in a New England accent. Take Back Your Cages was also quite good, with Rick Miller on lead vocals. Other notable attendees included: Becky Poole rockin' the musical saw (and also the bird impressions/screeches), Mark Siano leaving his soft-rock stain on everything he touched, Amy O'Neal rocking the mic on 'Stuffing Keeps Going', and Jen Borges Foster keeping the one-word-per-page poetry book going (I just remember that the first 4 words were 'What Softness Preaches Temperance'). Clay unicorns were made. Collective cartoons were drawn. (One of them had something to do with a demon whose car was stolen by birds that took it into the forest and shit on it.) One of the literary challenges involved one person thinking up fake product names and handing them to someone else to think of the slogan. The only one I can remember is:
Speculum On A Stick: "At your cervix!"

We managed to record 41 music kunjabunjas in one night. These are their titles, in no particular order:
1. Cornflakes From The Box
2. God Is Forcing Blood
3. Here’s My Strangest String
4. I’m About To Blow Your Area
5. I’m About To Blow Your Aria
6. My Birds
7. Neckbrace Pulls At Hurt
8. Ponies Ponies Always Ponies
9. Seppuku With Alice
10. Silence Expands
11. Some People Combine Beverages
12. Stuffing Keeps Going
13. Subliminal Face Breathing Softly
14. Take Back Your Cages
15. Try Reluctantly Hard
16. A Year Without Pants
17. You Get Your Face Blasted
18. Accidental Dismemberment Happens
19. Cannibal Cannibal Times Are The Way
20. Can't Help Loving Myself Because I’m Totally Sweet and There’s No Help For Anyone After All
21. Cephalopod
22. Chickenpurplesman
23. Chromosomes Never Compete With DNA
24. Fast Frenzy
25. Form of Idiocy
26. Fragile Lemon Rang China
27. Frankly I Detest Love Part Two
28. Friends Always Sneeze
29. Hey Aren’t We Partners?
30. High Seven Times
31. I Frankly Detest Love However If I Can’t I Won’t
32. Listen, Fantastic Tits Destroy The Planet Again
33. Obviously Space Cannot Last
34. Outpatient Friendship
35. Phantom Lady Freaks Boats Forward Lightly
36. Sometimes Vibrations Can Happen to Anyone
37. Sweet Mercy For Us
38. The Freaks Are Out Logging Toads While I’m Home
39. Though We Challenge Ourselves To Play Upon The Instruments That We Cherish We Cannot Realize It
40. Three Jolly Benches
41. Yesterday Temptation Struck Hard On Toenails

It's taken me several hours just to compile them and edit some of them. Soon (I hope) they will all be put up on for your listening "pleasure". Just search for ones that happened on November 9, 2007.

In the meantime, take a listen to a recent favorite of mine, A Stew of Water.


Blogs are stupid

And yet, here I am. Today's spam email titles:

Show this to the kids
Don't forget to take this before you start dating
Evidence for Jesus' Existence
Can we use musical instruments in the church?
Bigger schlong = more enjoyment for partner!

The internet: getting worse since 1997. Just like Fremont!

Friday, November 9, 2007

Friday night live

Okay, so I'm supposed to be the Friday blogger. The problem is, I'm at a coffee shop in Tucson, and my computer battery is about to expire. I don't know how to do those fancy embedded links, nor do I have any pictures of my last two weeks down here in the southwest. Suffice it to say that I've had a great time eating mexican food and hanging out by the pool. I miss Seattle, especially knowing that there is a big party at my house tonight. (Hey you guys! Be careful with that! Yeah, go ahead and eat anything that's in the fridge. Just don't forget to feed the cats!) I promise a better blog next Friday. See you all soon! -Rob

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Sunset Over Mustacheville




next stop: drastic haircut?

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Good Vestday to you.

According to the unimpeachable Wikipedia:

"A popular tradition in the United States is to wear a sweater vest on this mid-week business day. This has led Wednesday to be referred to as Vestday."

As if I needed any more evidence that I'm out of touch with american popular traditions. Today I'm wearing a grey hooded zipper-coat (I believe it's popularly referred to as a "hoodoo"). But I'll spare you my ongoing ontological struggles regarding the nature of popularity, endlessly fascinating though they may be.

Instead I'll share with you some news regarding that popular relic known as Radio!

1. I went to college at the University of Northern Iowa, and they have a radio station called KUNI. Seeing as how the Midwesterners are My People (and Ackermann's, too), I sent a copy of Beehive Sessions to my favorite DJ there: the locally legendary Bob Dorr. Every Friday night Mr. Dorr hosts Down on the Corner, a showcase for midwestern music. It was a stretch, but he's graciously offerred to give Anthem a spin on his November 9 show (this Friday!). My dad's gonna freak right out. Down on the Corner airs from 7pm - 9pm Seattle time, and you can listen online.

2. I bet you've all heard of the venerable Seattle twee-pop band Tullycraft--I had the pleasure of laying down some trumpet licks on their fresh and fancy new album Every Scene Needs a Center. They'll be playing live on KEXP tomorrow morning at 9:30, and they've invited me to join them on horn (and various "aahs" and "heys"). I haven't played trumpet that early in the morning since high school marching band, but I'm looking forward to the whole experience. If you have any questions for Morning Show host John Richards, post them in the comments and I'll (pretend to) ask him on air! I'll obviously be trying to get his opinion on the writer's strike. So if you're near a radio or intertube on Thursday at 9:30am PST, put your ears around it!


Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Classic Rock Block

I have very little patience for Rod Stewart, generally. So it was with great relief this morning that the song on my iPod I thought was going to turn into "Maggie May" actually turned out to be "Every Picture Tells a Story". I love that song and have a secret yen to cover it someday with a special guest on lead vocals.

Along with Rod The Bod's version of "(I Know) I'm Losing You" (a cover of a Rare Earth tune [covering The Temptations] that holds its own impressively), "Every Picture" makes up pretty much 50% of my Rod Stewart preferred listening.
Color me surprised and appalled (apPALLED!), then, when I listened to the lyrics all the way through...

Did he...? Did he just say something about going to Asia and falling in love with a "slit-eyed lady?"

Wow Rod, the French were right when they said you were a nasty person. I haven't felt this duped since Ten Years After's vaguely homophobic curve ball:

Everywhere is/Freaks and scaries/
Dykes and faries/Tell me where is/

A slit-eyed lady?!
Classic Rock, sometimes you really take it too far!
It's not like listening to AC/DC or Van Halen where I know things are gonna skew a little politically incorrect and can mentally prepare (read stop singing along). I mean, Rod's supposed to be pretty safe, right? They play him on easy-listening stations, ferdaluvapete!

As if on cue, the next track in shuffle order was Thin Lizzy's "Jailbreak":

Hey you, good-lookin' female... Come over here

Great. So much for running for public office.

Monday, November 5, 2007


TWO members of "Awesome" are engaged to be married. True? False? Both true and false at the same time? Hmmmm....

Recent Movies Watched

My girlfriend Jen just returned from The Azores. While she's been getting over jet lag and culture shock, we've been staying at home and watching a bunch of movies. Here's what we've watched:

The Dark Crystal Classic Jim Henson / Frank Oz. Jen is totally a gelfling, so I made her watch it. There's a lot a great muppet creatures that only have one quick shot. I appreciate that.

The Incredibles - a very decent Pixar film. There's some interesting subversive themes in here commenting on current trends in education.

We watched the first 5 minutes of Perfume (too gross for jet lagged person! plus, we were eating dinner. Oook!)

Dave-- This is a guilty pleasure of mine. It's just hollywood fluff, but I kinda like it. Kevin Kline and Sigourney Weaver.

Monsters Inc. -- I own this one.
"Can I borrow your odorant?"
"Yeah, I got, uh, smelly garbage or old dumpster."
"You got, uh, low tide?"
"How about wet dog?"
"Yep. Stink it up."

Bug's Life Been a while since I seen this one. Eh, So-so.

Sense & Sensibility (The Emma Thompson version) I also own it. and love it. go figure.

The Birdcage Another one on my shelf. I watch it anytime I'm at home sick. It still cracks me up. Nathan Lane is always great, and even Robyn Williams is good in this one too.

Next on the list: Creatures From The Pink Lagoon. I saw it at Broadway Video and was like, "Hey... that guy on the cover looks vaguely familar..." And wouldn't you know it, it's "Awesome"'s own trumpeteer Evan Mosher! Then I looked on the back and lo and behold, the film was co-written by "Awesome"'s own bassist Basil Harris! What the hell is going on here? It's also got Nick Garrison (who is always funny. I saw him some years ago in Hedwig & The Angry Inch at the ReBar) and also John Kaufmann, who directed noSignal and who is currently off in grad school for directing. He used to live in the same building I do. And now Basil lives here. So I went upstairs and grabbed a copy of the movie from him. He warned me: "It's super gay, but it's not porno." Awwww....

Here: I put up a little script that will make some Random Titles. Now you can make your own movies.


Friday, November 2, 2007

French composers, headshots

Last night, thanks to my friend Josef, I went to the Seattle Symphony's evening of French composers conducted by Stéphane Denève (final performance tonight). I arrived straight from work, underdressed in my third-avenue-casual attire and unkempt facial hair, prompting one of the musicians to ask "is he from Alice in Chains?" after the show. Pieces by Stravinsky, Debussy, and a composer named Faure (presumably the musician and not the pioneer of the lead battery) were played beautifully by the ensemble, but it was Ravel's Piano Concerto in G Minor that was so staggeringly good it had sugar rainbows bursting out of every instrument and golden cherubs licking the toes of the most esteemed arts donor. I'm no scientist (anymore), but it takes no degree of booksmarts to know that a composition with "Piano" prominently featured in its title requires a damn good pianist to pull it off, no matter how competent the symphony orchestra. That pianist was one Frank Braley, who is the subject of this come-hither headshot. Mr. Braley proceded to tickle the ivories with astonishing grace, invoking le aforementioned rainbows and cherubs. What can we learn from my experience? Headshots are funny and Alice in Chains is still relevent in Seattle.

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