?uiz

1.) What is your age group?

a.) 0-1
b.) 1-2
c.) 2-36
d.) 36-100
e.) dead

2.) When confronted with tragedy, what is your first reaction?

a.) cry
b.) indifference, check movie times, re-arrange spice rack, etc.
c.) call loved ones
d.) depends: what are you selling?
e.) ACTION ACTION ACTION AAAAARRRRGGG

3.) Are you a leader?

a.) no, I could never be a leader, no, I'm...just not one of those...I wish that I...no
b.) YES, OH GOD, YES, GET IN LINE, I'LL LEAD US TO ITHACA
c.) leaders are frauds; anarchy forever
d.) erm?
e.) poot

4.) If you could smooch any Hollywood celeb, like, who would you...y'know, SMOOCH?

a.) Jude Law
b.) Jessica Tandy
c.) Danny Glover's sweater
d.) Helexor 2000, the dying robot
e.) I ha' no li's, I los' dem in a fire

5.) Pick a number between 1 and another number.

a.) 1
b.) 79
c.) I am naked right now
d.) can I get a ride home?
e.) Helexor 2000 has died

6.) What is cuter: a cute kitten or a cute pan of grease?

a.) what the hell did that guy mean by "ITHACA"?
b.) look it up on wikipedia
c.) yeah, but what does it mean?
d.) I think it has to do with Odysseus or something
e.) I'll take the pan of grease

7.) What did you learn today?

a.) about the ongoing tragedy in Bhopal
b.) my life is a shantytown populated by rats
c.) Helexor 2000 died
d.) gas will probably hit $4/gallon (regular) in the U.S. by summer
e.) I'll take the cute kitten, but can I borrow the pan?

8.) Seriously.

a.) ...seriously what?...
b.) wait, I change my answer to "cry"
c.) I am on the internet
d.) happy birthday, Sandra Day O'Connor!
e.) ...c'mon, seriously what?...

9.) Why?

a.)
b.) it's because of big people (and I'm not prejudiced)
c.) I can't believe Helexor 2000 is dead...and I change my answer to "call loved ones"
d.) this is what I'm talking about: all the billboards, the coffeeholders, the youtube videos, the do-it-yourself cleaning fluids, it's all part of a functional construct set up to maintain order. We're not trapped, like some would say, unless we're voluntarily trapped. It's not your choice to be born, but it is your choice to stay where you are. You can no more be trapped into the media circus than you can be trapped in a meadow with 'society' -- scuze me, "society" -- just down the hill awaiting your patronage, but you can stay on that hill, you can count the blades of grass until you're 79 years old and educated only by the whispering wind -- which, by the way, lies like a perfumed mynx -- and when you come down, you won't know how to function at all because society -- scuze me, SOCIETY -- has moved on, and we have shaped it, right down to the lonely corners that you call your own, and if there's going to be any change--
e.) chocolate is my favorite

10.) Any parting words?

a.) a rose in the briar is a pool of fire
b.) that is such a lie, Jake, STOP TALKING
c.) *sigh*...change my answer to "indifference"
d.) kegger at the old mill tonite [sic]!
e.) I love you very much